Crazy Toxic Miss You! / w4m / 39 Queens (JFK)
Where are you going, ponyboyfriend? Some velvet panda snow globe forever island? You’re eating mango jelly! You’re drinking water from a waterfall so PERFECT that anyone standing under it becomes a virgin again! Coating yourself in shea butter! If I had one of those tiny plastic half-knives they give you in the lid of the cream cheese container, or an itsy little ice cream sampler scoop, I’d scrape a rippling layer of shea-and-sweat off your back while you’re napping and spread it on my HEART OF HEARTS! You are so beautiful and intimate like only something repulsive can be; an anemone jammed in a snail shell tucked in the pouch of a half-conscious kangaroo. Look, I’m sorry I was wearing those sweatpants; my ass is really much more LUSCIOUS than that. I’m sorry I was sulking in the Delta terminal when you sped past, lugging a rolling mesh bag with an irritable little dog, or maybe an oversized cat inside, so drugged it’s peed itself, and still you’re willing to put your face right up to its wheezing drooling mug and whisper consoling nonsense. I don’t know your name. I couldn’t tell what your body looked like under the weight of your tote bags and the heavy wool top coat you were trying to shed, but desperately tangled inside like I want to get tangled in the contents of your luggage, misdirected, filthy with dust and street food from THREE DIFFERENT CONTINENTS, weeping over the edge of the baggage claim carousel. I don’t love Delta. I don’t love Chicago. I love you. I’m flying the wrong direction. Come find me SWEET SWEET CAKE FACE DOLLY BUCK! I’m in zone 4 and my HEART IS SHATTERING.
via Danielle Pafunda (with thanks to Alissa Nutting)
Actual responses to the ad:
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Hey, This dude on youtube is Hilarious, check this out… [link expired]