Your Screaming Baby / w4m / 36 / Brooklyn
You: a middle-aged Dad with a screaming baby in a stroller. Me: a very pregnant lady who saw her future staring her in the face.
We were sitting across from one another on a Bay Ridge-bound R train when your baby started screaming in that paint-peeling way that makes people hate children. I watched as you tried everything short of duct taping the baby’s head to your leg to make it stop, but it didn’t matter — everyone thought you were evil. They assumed your baby cries like that all the time because (a) you are a terrible Dad or (b) the sub-par gene-cocktail you passed along resulted in an irredeemably terrible baby. It probably didn’t help that your Bugaboo was blocking the aisle. FYI? People hate that.
We all watched as a hipster couple with impressive haircuts exchanged a “live free or die” look before heading to the back of the train.
I sent you frantically empathetic signals with my eyes. My eyes said, “I know it’s not your fault. Everyone has bad days. I’m sure you are actually a great Dad! Please don’t let this one episode prevent you from ever going outside again. Your baby probably just has a poopy diaper. And how would those hipsters feel if they happened to take a warm dump in their Diesel jeans and now had to sit it out, all the way to 77th Street? Not so smirky, I bet!”
I would love to continue this conversation with you using words, not eyes.
via Alina Simone
Actual responses to the ad:
Were you the pregnant woman on the R train on Sunday?
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I’m not that guy, and I hope you find him but never seen anyone write what you did like you did and I’d like to continue that conversation over coffee with you anyway if you feel like a conversation with a stranger in Manhattan some day.
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Hi Maxine, your CL post was not intended for me but I just wanted to say it was great! You’re obviously an intelligent and special person! Drew